


The Mediocre Place

by IvyCpher



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Deceit is Michael, Donuts, Drinking, Eventual Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Everyone Is Gay, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied Sexual Content, Logan is Chidi, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Morality | Patton Sanders, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Patton is Janet, Remus is Jason, Roman is Tahani, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Thomas is the Judge, Virgil is Eleanor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-12-28 00:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Good Place AUVirgil wakes up in the Good Place, but the only problem is that he knows that he doesn't belong there.





	1. Chapter 1

"Virgil, I'm happy to tell you this, you've gotten into the Good Place! Congrats."

Virgil blinked. One moment.. Well he couldn't remember where he had been before he was here but he knew something was up. He was in a fancy sort of office building that was pleasantly cool, on the wall there was the photo of a rather high looking guy. Sitting across a large wooden desk infront of him was a man with a shiny burn on half of his face and a near Joker like smile on the rest of his face. "The- what?" He asked, leaning forward in his chair. Badly died, long purple hair fell into his face and he didn't even bother to brush it away. "I'm sorry, where am I exactly and who are you? I don't even remember how I got here."

The man in front of Virgil smile faltered ever so slightly, "Well put bluntly, you're dead. And you're in the good place, a sort of heaven really. Besides all that I'm Dmitri, but just call me Dee." Dee wore a black blazer over a yellow dress shirt with a black fedora, a yellow pair of gloves that wouldn't be uncommon looking on a dishwasher, and an odd yellow bow-tie with little green snakes all over it.

"Wait-" Virgil paused, his mind was having trouble processing what Dee was saying. "I'm dead- and I'm in heaven?" His face screwed up in confusion and he looked around the room again. He couldn't think of a single reason why he would be in heaven but he wasn't about to say that aloud.

"Of course!" Dee pushed himself up from his desk with his yellow gloved hands. "It's easily expected that you would be here, you did spend the last 10 years of your life as a children's grief counselor, and when you weren't doing that you were working in soup kitchens."

Virgil blinked, reached into his pocket to find that he didn't have his fidget cube on him and squeezed his hand into a fist inside his pocket. "Oh yeah.. It was nothing, I'm just happy to help." He lied. He had never done any of those things, in fact he hated children. 

Dee stepped around the desk and extended his gloved hand to Virgil, "Why don't I show you around? There's so much to do and I don't want you to miss any of it. Wouldn't be much of a heaven if you never got to enjoy it, right, Virge? Can I call you Virge?"

Virgil hesitated then took Deceit's hand, "Uh, yeah I guess." He muttered. Before he could even move he was pulled up from his seat.

"Then let's get going."

Then together Dee and Virgil left the room and a series of others attached to it and walked out into a sunny street filled with blindingly bright coloured buildings that made Virgil advert his eyes to the ground. They walked in some time in a heavy silence past smiling people and if he wasn't wrong five different donut shops before Dee spoke up, "Pretty quiet aren't you? Usually people give me a few dozen questions when I first bring them here and you've only asked me maybe three."

"I have way more than I've asked, trust me," Virgil smiled wryly, looking up from the ground to Dee. "I'm just- really overwhelmed here." He gestured everywhere around them. "At home- I mean at Earth I had a fidget cube or something with me to make it easier to think when there was too much to focus on."

"Oh!" Dee stopped dead in his tracks and put out an arm, forcibly stopping Virgil as well. "Why didn't you say something? That brings me to another part about the Good Place, if there's anything you ever need or want to know, just ask for  _ Patton." _

But before Virgil could ask who Patton was, there was a sudden pop and a person appeared beside them. Virgil jumped back with a shout, "What the heck!" He blinked and brushed his dark hair out of his face, confused and no longer concerned with the new person. "Heck! Heck! Shirt!  _ Fork! _ " He turned to Dee, "Why can't I swear?!"

A tired smile crossed Dee's face and he patted Virgil on the back, "Curses have been automatically censored because most of your neighbors don't like profanities. Now back to the matter at hand- Virgil, meet Patton." And Dee gestured besides him to the person who had quite literally magically appeared.

Virgil had momentarily forgotten about Patton turned to look at them. They were a few inches shorter than himself and wore a navy vest over a pale, patterned poofy dress shirt with a matching navy skirt. They had bright golden John Lennon glasses, pale brown curls, and a happy smile. Virgil was quiet for a moment before he remembered that he hadn't said anything, his mind was running with too much information and suddenly meeting a brand new person didn't help. "Nice to meet you, man." He shrugged.

"I'm not a man but it's wonderful to meet you, Virgil." Patton smiled, "And hello to you too, Dmitri. Is there anything I can help with?"

Dee patted Patton's elbow and looked at Virgil, "Like I was saying before, Virgil, Patton is here to help everyone in the Good Place. They can get you anything you might need and fetch you any information you'd like to know." He turned back to Patton, "Virgil was saying that he was used to having some sort of-.. Fidget device, could you make him one?"

Patton nodded and lifted their hands from their sides, suddenly there was a black and purple fidget cube in their hands. "Is this satisfactory? From my information on both your history with fidget toys and the most popular ones being made, this should meet your needs."

Slowly Virgil extended his hand out and snatched up the toy. "Thanks?" He said smiling softly. He stuffed the cube in his pocket and began fingering it immediately.

Patton's smile widened and they nodded, "Don't mention it, kiddo!" And with another pop they disappeared.

Virgil's smile grew in slight confusion and he looked to Dee, "I could get used to them." He looked around, slightly less bothered by the bright colours. "Are donut shops popular in heaven?"

Dee chuckled and started moving again, Virgil followed besides him. "Well- to be honest Patton helped with all the donut places. This is my first time making a neighborhood in the Good Place and I honestly don't know what humans like to eat. Patton said donuts were popular so we added them in. Why, are there too many of them?"

"No- well.. No," Virgil shook his head. "I've seen more, you're not too bad with 'em." As he followed Dee he noticed that they were leaving the more crowded part of town in favour of a more rural area. The houses were fewer here, but many of them were large and extravagant. "Do I get to live in one of these places?" He asked, pointing to a house with several white peacocks in the front yard.

Dee nodded, "Of course! Everyone in the Good Place has a house tailored to their specific interests, I worked on each of them personally to ensure that they were done right. We're nearly to yours actually."

Virgil was excited to hear that. While he was alive he had never done more than rent an apartment let alone own a whole house, he couldn't wait to see where he lived. He didn't even notice that he had kept walking while Dee had stopped until the other called for him.

"Virge, wait! This is your place!"

Virgil stopped and turned to look at the house that Dee was standing in front of. His spirits fell as he took in the house. It was a pastel pink trailer home with a stone bird bath and a handful of plastic garden flamingos on the front lawn.

Dee must've mistaken Virgil's disgusted expression for one of awe because he took a step towards the trailer with a smile on his face. "I know right? Come on now, you must simply be  _ dying  _ to get inside."

With a nod, Virgil slowly followed behind Dee. "Yep.." He said with his mouth feeling rather dry. "Boy, I do love trailers.. They're just so small and confining.." He said through gritted teeth as they both walked up a set of wooden steps to the front door. There was an ugly rainbow wind chime that was clinking loudly.

"Personally I could never live in one myself," Dee said as he opened the door, "Nope I get uncomfortable in places that are so small like these, I feel like the walls are closing in on me. But you just love 'em."

Virgil honestly couldn't agree with Dee more, he hated trailers ever since he was little and had to live in one with his nan. As he walked inside the trailer however he felt like doing a double take. The inside looked exactly like his grandmother's trailer had 17 years ago. Bright pink textured walls, cowhide patterned furniture, checkerboard flooring. Hell it even smelled like his nana's place, like rosemary and thyme scented oils. All the horribleness was all too much familiar that a wave of sickness rose in his stomach. "It's.. It's great." He managed to finally say after Dee had turned back, looking at Virgil like he had given him a great treat. "I'm at a loss for words," He forced a smile and sat down on the cowhide sofa, his whole body stiff.

"I knew you'd love it. It's an exact replica of your old home you had when you were living," Dee looked around fondly then suddenly clapped his hands together. "Oh wait, I have one more surprise for you. Stay right there!" Then he turned around and left through the open door, not bothering to close it behind him. The sound of the wind chime came through the open door.

Virgil sat on the couch willing himself not to puke and hoping that Dee's surprise was much better than this ugly fucking trailer. He dragged both of his hands down his face and sighed loudly. Suddenly he heard footsteps and put his hands back in his pockets, he fiddled madly with his fidget cube and put on a fake smile just in time for Dee to return.

Dee half in, half out of the trailer. Half of his body was obscured by the doorframe. "And for your next surprise, I'm giving you something that you humans think about almost as much as your think about the possibility of an afterlife; a  _ soulmate." _

"A soulmate?" Virgil asked. He hoped at least that this wasn't as much as clusterfuck as this trailer was. "Really?" He slowly stood up from the sofa, his legs feeling wobbly.

Dee stepped aside and guided another man into the room. He was tall with dark hair that was combed neatly back and a thick pair of glasses that nearly every stereotypical nerd wore in cartoons. He had on a dark, perfectly pressed polo shirt and a tie striped with various blues. He would've looked like a stern substitute teacher if he wasn't wearing a nervous smile. "Virgil, meet Logan Powers, your soulmate."

Easy to say, Logan was not what Virgil had expected at all. Meeting another person in this crazy place almost made him feel at ease. Virgil took a step towards Logan and nodded, extending the hand that he had been previously using to mess with his fidget cube. "Wow, nice to meet you, Logan. This.. This is something." He chuckled nervously, trying not to look past Logan to Dee.

Logan's grip was unsurprisingly firm, their handshake was short. "It is," His smile relaxed as he drew back his hand. "I never really put much thought into soulmates but knowing that they're real and I have one is just astonishing."

"Well I'll leave you two lovebirds to yourselves," Dee nodded, taking a step back and grabbing ahold of the door handle. He started to close the door behind himself but quickly stopped and popped back in, "Almost forgot, one of your neighbors, Roman Kingsley, is throwing a party to celebrate everyone making it to the Good Place tonight at seven, it's the house right next to yours with all the white peacocks." He nodded, "I hope to see you there!" And with that, Dee left them.

Virgil went quiet, as soon as Dee left Logan had started talking again but he hadn't heard a word of what he said. Virgil's head was spinning and he felt like he was going to be sick. He suddenly grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him down to the sofa. "Can I ask you something?"

A bemused expression crossed Logan's face, he hesitated for a second. "Considering that you just asked me a question and that we're soulmates, I don't see a reason why not."

Virgil let go of Logan's hand to instead grip the fabric of his jeans tightly. He could feel his stubby nails digging into his skin through the fabric. "Since you're my soulmate you wouldn't do anything to hurt me right?"

"Yes, but I don't see-"

"You  _ promise  _ not to do anything to hurt me? Even when it might be the right thing to do?"

"This isn't the type of question I was expecting-."

"Yes or no?"

With a sigh Logan pushed up his glasses, "No. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Virgil. But why are you asking me that? You look horrible."

"Why am I asking you that? Well because I don't belong in this sunny shirtville of a heaven, buddy."


	2. Chapter 2

"You…  _ Excuse me?"  _ Logan had jumped up from the sofa so fast from the sofa that it spooked Virgil and he fell back. "I can't.. Can't have heard you right, and if I did you surely must be wrong." He smiled softly and shook his head. He pushed back his hair and ended up just messing it up. "I mean- you're here aren't you? Celestial beings just don't.. fudge up the roster for those who get into heaven."

With a sigh Virgil stood up too, he was madly playing with his fidget cube in his pocket. "Listen, man, I don't know what to tell you! That Dee guy, he said I got in here because of being a grief counselor for little kids and working in a soup kitchen or some shirt." He shook his head and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "But guess what? I didn't do any of that. I worked at a liquor store and sold the hard stuff to kids with fake IDs if they paid extra for it!"

"That.." Logan looked from Virgil to the checkerboard floor. He slowly sat down on the couch and brought his hand to his forehead. "Not even a day in heaven and I have a migraine," He sighed. "Thought I'd finally be free of them here.." He muttered.

"Didn't you hear me?" Virgil stepped in front of Logan, looking angry. "I don't-!"

Logan slapped his hand over Virgil's mouth, "Yes, yes! I heard you!" He said exasperated, "But do you want everyone else within a mile radius to hear you?" He removed his hand from Virgil's mouth, "Plus I have a migraine and you aren't helping in the slightest."

With a huff, Virgil plopped down next to Logan. "Sorry," He mumbled. He was quiet for a moment before turning to look at Logan who took off his glasses. "Doesn't," He spoke in a quieter tone. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Yes, I'm positively freaking out." Logan said calmly, and before Virgil could say anything he held up his hand to stop him. "I say that without a trace of sarcasm, it's just if I open the wall for these emotions they're going to flood out."

"Oh.." and Virgil was quiet for a moment. He could hear the wind chime on the porch in the silence and he didn't like it. "Wait," He suddenly stood up. "There's a person, a helpful guy." His brow furrowed, "Like- ugh, shirt. I can't remember their name?"

"Patton?" Logan asked hopefully, and then quite suddenly there was a pop that caused the both of them to jump.

Patton had appeared besides Virgil, they wore the same happy smile that they had had earlier. They looked from Virgil to Logan, "Can I help you two?"

"Yeah, Lo' here has a headache," Virgil gestured to Logan and then slowly sat down besides him. "You got anything for him, Pat?"

The already bright smile on Patton's face widened, "Ooh! A nickname!" They said happily, "I've never had one of those before! And of course," From literally out of nowhere, they pulled a small bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water. They held both of them out of Logan who took them from their hands.

"Thank you, Patton," Logan muttered. He popped two of the Tylenol and downed them with a large gulp of water. He put both the medicine and the glass of water on a cowhide patterned end table.

"No problem!" Patton clapped their hands together then held them at their middle. "Is there anything else I can help you with? I must be leaving shortly to help Roman prepare for his welcoming party."

With a shake of his head Virgil started, "Nah I think we-," But then he stopped himself. "Wait no. Pat can you tell us if," He started, trying to sound innocent. "Anyone has gotten into the Good Place by mistake? Like if they actually belonged in the.. the-"

"Bad Place?" Patton finished, leaning forward slightly. When Virgil nodded, they stood up straight again. "No," They shook their head, making their curls bounce. "Never in the history of the Good Place has a wayward soul ever been granted access, accidentally or otherwise."

Virgil's face paled and he covered it with his hands, muttering, "I'm gonna kill myself."

"Okay but-" Logan spoke up, putting his glasses back on. "Since every bad soul," He cast a quick glance to Virgil then hurriedly looked up at Patton. "Ends up in the Bad Place and never here- What happens to them there?"

Patton's smile fell slightly, "I'm sorry, but I'm not at the privilege to give that information. Dmitri believes it will make the tenants distressed and that's a no-no here." They shrugged, "I can play you a live audio clip of what's happening there now if that helps."

Virgil and Logan looked at each other for a moment before agreeing to hear it.

Patton opening their mouth unnaturally wide and was quiet for a moment, but then the trailer was filled with loud cries and screams and people pleading for their lives. Maniacal laughter was heard over the cries.

Virgil felt like a whole tray of ice cubes had slid down his throat and into his stomach. He glanced over at Logan who looked like he might puke. Then as suddenly as Patton started emitting those horrible noises, they shut their mouth and noise was gone.

"I hope that was of some to use you," Patton nodded, smilingly, seemingly unaffected by the gruesome noises that they had just produced.

"Y-Yep.. Thanks, man.." Virgil couldn't manage a smile. "You can get to.. to wherever now."

And with a pop, Patton did just that.

All was silent in the tiny trailer. Virgil could feel his heart being forcibly in his chest.  _ That's  _ where Virgil belonged.  _ Hell.  _ He was supposed to be down there suffering with whatever horrors that his living life had guaranteed him. He slowly looked around the trailer, and while it was a hell in itself; he would much rather be subjected to it rather than.. The Bad Place. He slowly looked over to Logan, who looked as shell-shocked as Virgil felt. "You won't sell me out will you?" He asked quietly, "You won't turn me in and subject me to that?"

"No.. No, I mean-" Logan stood up from the sofa and pushed back his hair restlessly. "I don't want to," He turned to Virgil, "But- this has never happened before. We don't know what that means."

"It  _ means _ I don't get turned into a pincushion for a pitchfork!" Virgil breathed heavily and brought his fists to his eyes. He rubbed them hard until he saw blooming galaxies against the blacks of his eyelids and a small headache started to form. "You couldn't do that to me," He said finally, pulling his fists away from his eyes. "Because for one you promised you wouldn't do anything to hurt me," He held up his index finger, "And for two, you're a good guy! How else would you end up here? And turning someone in to the heaven police isn't a very good thing thing to do! It's a prude thing to do!"

Logan sucked in a breath through his teeth that sounded like a tire losing air, " _ Listen,"  _ He said sternly, crouching in front of Virgil and placing his hands firmly on his shoulders. "I don't want to turn you in to.. The  _ heaven police _ as you put it, but.. I'm feeling a lot of Catholic guilt here." His voice sounded strained and tense. "And I don't do so good with that- Virgil, I'm a facts person. I don't like falsehoods, I don't like straying from the truth."

"Okay but what about the truth of how it would be just straight up douchey to tell Dmitri about me!" It was odd, although Virgil felt cornered and anxious, Logan's touch made him feel solid and slightly less shaky than he would've felt otherwise. "Listen man, Catholic guilt doesn't make you special, but what  _ would  _ make you special would not be ratting me out."

With a annoyed groan Logan took his hands off of Virgil and stepped away. "I don't know, I just- I have to think about it." He said finally. "This is a hard decision for me- maybe just show me that you're a decent person and  _ not _ the liquor store clerk who used to sell alcohol to kids. Let me gather all the facts about you before I pick."

Virgil opened his mouth to complain, to insist that Logan was being irrational and that the clearly right option was to be a decent human being and to  _ not _ subject your fellow man to an eternal torture. But he didn't do that, he knew it would just be a waste of time to argue with him. "Fine," He said gruffly. "My fate is literally in your hands," He mumbled.

With a roll of his eyes Logan sat back down next to Virgil, "Tell me about yourself," He said like didn't just have a whole conversation about whether he would turn Virgil into Dee and in the long run, subject Virgil to the extreme horrors of the bad place. "Give me a good idea of who you are. Or were? I don't know." 

Virgil blew the hair out of his eyes, "I grew up in California, I lived with my grandma most of the time. Mom wasn't around much." He shrugged softly. He strained his mind for anything else he could tell Logan without letting him in on just how much his past life was the idea sob story soap opera. "Moved out of my nan's place as soon as I could. I went to college for a while and somehow got an english degree. Blah blah blah.." He rolled his eyes, "This and that, I don't remember how I died." He said suddenly realizing it.

"Well um, that was vague." Logan said after a minute. He stayed quiet for a moment, probably waiting for Virgil to ask him about himself, but when he didn't he started telling him anyways. "I grew up in Pennsylvania with my mother. I went to college and received a doctorate in philosophy and biomedical engineering."

"Those aren't at all similar," Virgil interrupted, but Logan ignored him.

"From there I worked as a professor and taught engineering," He looked over his glasses at Virgil then pushed them up. "Dmitri told me I was one of the few that made it into the Good Place for my advancement in crossing the makeup of cancer cells with that of normal organ cells and thus producing highly needed organs at an astonishing rate, saving many people." He paused. "Though.. Now that you mention it, I don't remember how I died either, odd." He looked down at himself, "I wasn't very old, only 32. What about you?" He looked up.

"33." Virgil nodded. Not looking at Logan. His eyes found the clock on the wall and he saw that it was fifteen past six. He pushed himself off the couch. "Hey, I'm not big on public engagements or anything but I don't think Dee'll be too pleased if we're late to what's-his-name's party." He nodded towards the clock. "Might wanna start getting ready, I don't know what this place has in the means of a wardrobe."

Logan too looked up at the clock then stood up from the couch, "You're probably right, how about I meet you there? Or do you want to meet here?" He asked.

"Nah, let's meet there. The sooner I can get out of this trailer the better."

With a nod, Logan moved forward but then he hesitated. He eyed Virgil for a moment before finally putting his hand out for a handshake, "See you there then, Virgil."

"Yeah," Virgil shook Logan's hand but let go quickly. He didn't wave as the other left the small trailer but he did peek through the window at his retreating figure. Once he could see Logan no more, he sighed and walked through the trailer to the singular back bedroom. It wasn't hard to find considering that it truly was an exact replica of his nan's old place.

In the bedroom there was a circular king sized bed with a felt, lime green comforter. Virgil outwardly cringed as he walked past it to the old-fashioned looking wardrobe in the corner. He hoped, as he opened it, that it wouldn't be full of his grandmother's old floral hats and shapeless nightgowns. And to his surprise and pleasure it wasn't.

The wardrobe was filled with dozens of outfits. Most of them were normal things that Virgil would wear everyday like jeans and t-shirts and hoodies, but a few of them were more extravagant and even borderline garish. Like the dark purple, gothic looking dress with just too many frills, or the purple puffy shirt. After looking through all the clothes at least once, Virgil finally settled on a striped black and purple sweater with ripped black jeans and a pair of combat boots.

Once Virgil was dressed he walked back into the living room and looked at the clock, just over half an hour had passed. He never spent that much time thinking about what he was going to wear, but then again he never had so many clothes to pick from. Feeling bored and not wanting to be alone, he left his trailer and started across the lawn to the neighbors who was hosting the partys home.

The house- or really mansion was gigantic. It was creamy tan in colour and looked more like a royals' palace than anything else. Hell, it was so big Virgil had trouble locating the front door. Once he did, however, he grabbed the gleaming silver knocker and banged it against the door. He heard it echo loudly throughout the house and waited. And waited. And waited. Just about when he was going to knock it again, the door opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow? Me actually updating a multi-chapter series and not abandoning it?? That's out of character. I have a lot of fun writing this AU tbh!
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil meets Roman Kingsley and his familiar soulmate Remus Tann. He helps Roman pick an outfit for the party. He manages to actually enjoy himself at the party too.

When the door opened, Virgil didn't really know what he was expecting. Probably someone especially posh and fancy, not some guy who looked like he was dressed as a monk for Halloween or something.

"Uh-, hey." Virgil waved weakly to the person who had opened the door. "I'm here for the party." He leaned backwards on the soles of his feet and caught a quick look at the inside of the house before glancing back at who opened the door. They had bright- almost too bright green eyes, a mess of windblown brown hair with a singular blond streak (that reminded Virgil strongly of Anna from the movie  _ Frozen) _ , and a rather ratty looking mustache. He didn't know that monks were allowed to have moustaches.

When the man didn't say anything, Virgil felt nervous. He reached into his pocket for his cube but then realized that with all his haste to leave the trailer he had forgotten it on his bed. "Am I that early?" He said nervously, he didn't like the vibe this guy was giving off  _ at all. _

Suddenly there was the loud click of heels from inside the house and someone opened the door more, it was another man. "Sorry about him," They said quickly, patting the first man on the shoulder. "This is Remus Tann- my familiar soulmate, he's a Buddhist monk who took a vow of silence before his death." They sighed tiredly then looked at Virgil, "I'm Roman Kingsley, host of tonight's party."

Roman- well he was easily a sight for sore eyes. He was tall and dark skinned with a mess of wavy dark brown hair. He was smiling brightly and Virgil wondered if everyone in this place smiled. He was wearing a white turtleneck sweater that was sparkling as if diamonds were sewn into it and a dark burgundy, knee length skirt. Easy to say he was kind of hot, well  _ really  _ hot actually. Especially with how he pulled off that skirt.

"Um-, Virgil Black." Virgil nodded and held out his hand but by the time he did, Roman had turned around back into the house and Remus had followed behind him.

"Wonderful to meet you, Virgil!" Roman called over his shoulder, his heels clicking. "You're just in time to help me get ready!"

"I'm?" Virgil stumbled into the house after him, "I am?" He hurried after him, wondering just how he could walk so fast in those shoes.

"Of course!" Stopping dead in his tracks, Roman turned around and grabbed Virgil's hands as he accidentally ran straight into him. "I can't decide what I'm wearing tonight at  _ all _ and.." He looked over his shoulder, they were alone in the foyer of the house. "Remus isn't much help." He whispered.

Quickly tearing his hands from Roman's grasp, Virgil wondered how he got into this mess. Yeah this guy was hot, but he was also coming off as really annoying and lacking boundaries. Virgil knew all that and he hadn't even been there ten minutes! Ugh, he just wanted to go home, but then he remembered that he was dead and that this  _ was  _ his home. "I get it.. Sure, I don't know how much of a help I'll be." He mumbled, looking away from Roman to glance around the house. "I don't have much of an eye for fashion." The whole place looked like it was made of gold and marble everything.

Roman laughed and it made Virgil meet his eyes again, "You can't be that bad. I mean, you put this little thing together," He put his hand briefly on Virgil's chest. "It's grungy and emo, but.. Not bad looking on you I suppose."

A blush darkened Virgil's cheeks besides him not wanting it to, "Is that a compliment?" He scrunched up his nose.

“Did it sound like one?” Roman asked but before Virgil could answer Roman already started walking again. He turned around the corner and started up a curving, marble staircase with a long, black rug down all the stairs.

How Roman could go up stairs so fast in those heels, Virgil had no clue. But when he reached the top behind him, Virgil was absolutely breathless and puffing for air like a smoker. Roman on the other hand looked completely unphased and did not cast him a glance to see if he was okay as he walked into the nearest open door.

Virgil followed behind him into the room after he finally regained his breath, he was happy to see that there were no more stairs. The room however looked like a murder scene with how much of the colour pallete was red. Rich red carpeting, a bright red bedspread with fluffy looking red pillows, there was even a red pattern on the white wallpaper. The few things in the room that weren't red were the golden looking headboard of the bed, the white ceiling, and the brown closet door. Man, it was a lot of red. Virgil wondered if that guy only ate red things too. He knew that he got a little crazy with the colour purple, but he didn't think he was  _ that  _ crazy about it. Not Roman Red crazy.

While Virgil was internally criticizing Roman's decor, the other man pulled open the closed closet door and flipped the switch inside. Virgil leaned forward and saw that the closet was huge- probably about half the size of the main room of his trailer.

"Now it's mainly between these two," Roman said, grabbing two clothes hangers off of filled racks inside the closet. He held them out in front of them so Virgil could see them. "Now since is my first party I'm not sure whether I should  _ dress up,"  _ He held the first coat hanger up higher, on it there was a deep red suit jacket with an ornamental pattern of darker red roses all over it with a pair of matching pants and a white undershirt. "Or go for something more casual, I don't want to intimidate anyone too much," He winked, wiggling the outfit on the second coat hanger. The second one was a more simple white dress shirt with a dark red, button up vest, and black slacks. "So? Which should it be?"

"Um…" Virgil's eyes traveled between the two outfits and he slowly backed up to sit on the bed behind him. His fingers curled into the silky soft fabric of the bedspread. "I'd say maybe-"

"You know what, I should just try them both on." With a nod, Roman cut Virgil off and looked at both outfits in his hands. "You really can't tell how an outfit will look until you wear it," He moved both coat hangers to one hand and gripped the edge of the door. "I'll just slip these on real quick and you can judge them!" And then he shut the closet door, leaving Virgil alone on the bed.

"Sure thing…" Virgil mumbled to himself, he fell back on the bed and closed his eyes. He was starting to wonder if maybe the Bad Place would be better than here, there certainly wouldn't be any outrageously hot and annoying neighbors there right? If Logan turned him into Dmitri he sure hoped that was the case.

Virgil laid there for a few minutes, his mind trailing off into thought before he heard the closet door open again. When he sat up and saw that Roman was wearing the first outfit, the suit. And Virgil wouldn't say it outloud but he thought it impressive how versatile Roman was with wearing both masculine and feminine clothes, and hot, really hot.

Roman smiled, then did a slow turn. "How is it?" He asked, looking at Virgil expectantly. "Too much?"

"Um." Virgil blinked, "It looks really good, yeah, but maybe just a little flashy." He held his index finger and thumb close together to show just how little. "Let's see the other one." He put his hands in his lap.

Roman's smile grew, "Okay! See, if I had Remus doing this he would just shake or nod his head. You're not too bad at this," He nodded at Virgil and then ducked back inside the closet, closing the door. In another handful of minutes he popped out wearing the second outfit.

"Oh wow," Virgil heard himself saying before he could stop himself. "You uh- you look amazing, man." He said, trying to cover just how gay he had sounded, his cheeks going pink.

Roman had rolled the dress shirt up to his elbows and kept the top most buttons of both his vest and his dress shirt unbuttoned to show off his chest. Plus when he did that little spin to show off the whole outfit his ass looked amazing in those pants.

"You think so?" Roman asked, walking over to Virgil and looking down at himself. He put his hand on his hip and looked up at Virgil, "Which one then? Classy or this one?"

"This one's good," Virgil nodded, swallowing. "Maybe you should save the classy stuff y'know?" He found it embarrassingly hard to keep eye contact with Roman with what he was wearing, he felt his face growing hotter by the second. "You're one day dead, build up to most flashy stuff."

"You know, you're absolutely right!" In a flash Roman grabbed Virgil's hands and pulled him up from the bed. Virgil stumbled into Roman, Roman still holding on to his hands. "I might have to keep you around to help me with my outfits more often," He grinned, "Come on, let's go put the finishing touches on the party downstairs. People should be arriving soon!"

Virgil pulled his hands out of Roman's and wiped them on his pants not because he was grossed at him, but because of how nervous he was suddenly feeling. "Fine, my soulmate should be here soon anyways." He said, following Roman out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

As Roman walked down the staircase to the house's first level, he looked over his shoulder at Virgil. "Oh, yeah! You're soulmate! Who are they? I want all the details! Are they cute?"

Virgil put his hand on the banister as he walked down the stairs, "His name is Logan.. Logan uh-" He strained his mind, "Powers, Logan Powers, yeah." He said as they reached the bottom of the steps, he followed Roman into the main room of the house. There were long tables decked with food and one ginormous circular table with some type of donut pyramid that went half way to the ceiling. A few servants (how and who were the servants Virgil wondered to himself) mulled about holding silver trays with wine glasses on them. At the end of the room Virgil saw a few people, most he didn't know but he could make out Remus' orange robes, he saw a flash of yellow that had to be Dee. When a few people moved aside he saw Dee and Patton were standing side by side and talking to  _ Logan. _

_ _ "And he's over there-" Virgil raised a hand and pointed to Logan.

Roman followed where Virgil was pointing and his eyes widened when he saw Logan, "Oh he is cute.. And I bet not a familiar soulmate either? Ugh you're so lucky." He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak again but Virgil cut him off.

"Uh, yeah, hold on, Princey, I'll be right back." Virgil said without even looking at Roman, then he hurried across the room to Logan's side. "Hey, Lo', Dee, Pat." He nodded at Dee and Patton and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "You guys are early."

"Well so are you," Dee said, smiling. "We ran into Logan on the way here," He gestured to Logan. "Becoming friends with Roman already though? That's wonderful," He said, glancing behind Virgil at Roman at the other end of the room who had started to greet the other guests.

"We can to help Roman set up if he needed it," Patton smiled. "But it looks like you beat us to it, kiddo!"

Dee nodded, "Well let's go see if Roman does need any help, there is still a little time before the party actually starts." He pulled back the sleeve of his blazer. "You can do a lot of decorating in five minutes right? Well we can try anyways, maybe Roman will have balloons- I've always wanted to blow one up!" He then walked past Logan and Virgil to where Roman was, Patton followed behind him, waving at Virgil and Logan.

Once they were out of ear shot, Virgil quickly faced Logan. He looked around to see that the few people around them couldn't hear them, "What were you talking to Dee about? Anything that should concern me?"

Logan looked affronted, he pushed up his glasses. " _ No  _ actually, the conversation wasn't about you." He raised his eyebrows and sighed, "I was actually talking to Patton."

"Patton?" Virgil screwed up his face in confusion. "Why them?"

"I'm interested in them, their ability to conjure anything and how they have a database of knowledge. Things that were unanswerable and unknown when we were alive are ours to know now." Crossing his arms over his chest, Logan looked down at Virgil. "You look nice by the way. From how your home looked I would've thought the only thing available for you to wear would've been orange jumpsuits."

Virgil looked down at his own clothes, "Thanks-" Then he finally took notice of what Logan was wearing, a powder blue suit with a navy tie. "You don't look bad either. So you like Patton?" He asked, thinking it would be better to act like he hadn't just bitten Logan's head off. "Is that why you're dressed up?"

A blush overcame Logan's cheeks, "I'm in a formal attire because this is a party-" He muttered, pushing his glasses up and briefly looking down. "Patton actually helped me pick this out- I'm not much for fashion so I called them and they were more than glad to help. They said I look good in blue.. But no, I don't like them, they're an interesting being is all, I admire their knowledge and their niceness is a spectacular thing in itself too-"

With a scoff Virgil rolled his eyes, "Just keep telling yourself that, man." A waiter passed by with a tray of wine glasses and he took two, handing one to Logan. He took a drink from the glass and his eyes widened, "Wow, this is not the cheap shirt."

The room was getting fuller and fuller of people, they all seemed to enter all at once. They were probably all exactly on time. From out of no where there came music and Virgil wondered where it was coming from, he hadn't seen a band earlier but then again this place was giant.

"Well, according to Patton, money isn't really a thing here so I suppose that you could have the most expensive things you wanted. Especially since if you ask them, they can make nearly anything appear." Logan took a sip of his own wine, "It's good, but too sweet for my tastes."

"Then let me have it then," Virgil downed the rest of his glass like it was grape juice and put it on a passing tray. Then grabbed Logan's glass from his hand, "Go find Pat to make you some that's not sweet, it'll give you an excuse to talk to them."

Logan rolled his eyes, "Will you be fine being by yourself?"

"I'm dead," Virgil deadpanned, "I'm dead and this is the 'Good Place'," He used air quotes. "What's the worst thing that can happen to me?"

A lot in fact could be the worst thing to happen to Virgil in that situation.

A lot including, getting drunk and flirting with Roman.

Virgil couldn't tell how many of those wine glasses he had taken off passing trays, at least four, or how many he had actually drank, at least six. But the party was four hours in and he was peacefully drunk, feeling less anxious and more ballsie than he had ever been when he was alive. Somehow he had managed to knock overing the donut pyramid, luckily he had been able to pin it on somebody else by quickly walking away as it fell. As he walked away from the falling disaster of donuts, he walked straight into Roman who was rushing over to see what happened.

"Did someone knock over the donuts?" Roman asked exasperatedly. "Oh that's  _ just  _ what I needed for my first party here, I should probably do something about that-"

But as he tried to walk away, Virgil grabbed his hand and stopped him. "Hey it's just some donuts, Princey. Nothing too big to fuss about."

Roman rolled his eyes, "My last name is Kingsley you know, I didn't have the chance to correct you earlier with how you rushed off to see your soulmate."

"Yeah, I knew that." Virgil didn't, he had forgotten Roman's last name completely. "But you're no king, you're just a show-off prince… But you're also kinda hot so I could live with that."

Roman's hand fidgeted in Virgil's grasp but he didn't pull away, "What about your soulmate?" He asked, his cheeks darkening. 

"He's tied up right now," Virgil pointed to a corner of the room where Logan was chatting avidly with Patton. "Besides, I never picked him to be my soulmate."

Roman looked at Logan and Patton and then pulled Virgil closer, "To be honest, I hate having a familiar soulmate. Wouldn't be so bad if he would just  _ talk  _ to me.. I much rather have a normal soulmate."

"Fork pre-picked soulmates." Virgil shook his head, "Let's pick our own, Princey."

"Fork yes." Roman breathed, and then in an instant he pulled Virgil away from the party. They weaved around people and dashed up the stairs, with all the people there it seemed that no one would notice. Instead of the first room at the top of the stairs that Roman had taken in earlier, he pulled open a door at the complete end of the hall and slammed it behind them both.

The Good Place was finally starting to be good in Virgil's opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a throw together...

**Author's Note:**

> I got into the Good Place a while ago and this idea just popped into my head!
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


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